


bygones

by lhknox



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Light Angst, they're frustrated and they're gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: "Kara holds out her hand, ready for Lena to shake it.“Bygones?” she jokes."the aftermath of kara revealing her identity, lena flees national city.kara tracks her down.





	bygones

**Author's Note:**

> i started thinking about the whole bygones scene from this past episode and i couldnt stop this from happening idek what it is lol like i have 200 other fics im working on and i decided to just write this instead
> 
> like closet confessions, this feels like it could be part of something longer so that might happen too.
> 
> unbeta'd and i hope u enjoy!

"I know you’ve been coming here most nights,” Lena says, her tone clipped. “You trip the secret alarm every time and it’s really fucking annoying.”

 

She stands on the porch of a quaint log cabin, arms crossed against her chest. Kara hovers in front of her, her suit gleaming slightly against the darkness of the thick wood behind her. Lena had come here to escape all reminders of Kara. Finding a place with no reminders of Kara Danvers had proven difficult. This was the best she could do, and it was far from perfect. Kara being there wouldn’t really help with that. She lowers herself slowly to the ground, landing with a small ‘thud’. In the porch light, Lena can see the pain on her face. Lena imagines the same pain is reflected on hers.

 

“How did you know where I was?”

 

“I’ve been flying across America trying to find your heartbeat,” she admits. “It took me a few weeks.”

 

“I don’t want to see you,” Lena says, jutting out her jaw and desperately willing herself not to burst into tears at the thought of Kara flying around the United States of America just to find her. “You know I don’t want you here.”

 

“ _ Do _ I know that, though?” Kara says, the hurt in her voice cutting straight through Lena. “You left without a word. I told you that I was-- I told you who I was and you just, you left. You disappeared, without telling anybody. I thought you were--”

 

“Oh, don’t pretend you care about me now, Kara,” Lena spits back. 

 

“I do care about you, so much--”

 

“You made me look like a fool. Everybody knows, every single one of our friends, and I was left in the dark like a child. I mean, god, even my brother knew!”

 

“I didn’t tell Lex!” 

 

“You think I care?? The point is you didn’t tell me, Kara! What is it, I couldn’t be trusted? Have I not proven myself enough yet?” 

 

“Did you ever stop to think that this was never about you??” Kara bursts, finally raising her voice. “Maybe I liked having someone in my life who didn’t know I was some alien freak from another planet?”

 

“Save the sob story,” Lena says. “I don’t feel sorry for the superhero with a heart of gold and supportive friends and family and an entire world bowing at her feet.”

 

“Grow up, Lena,” Kara says. “I’m tired, I’m so tired of this.”

 

“Goodnight,  _ Supergirl _ ,” Lena says. She turns around and goes inside, locking the door behind her.

 

But she doesn’t leave.

 

Like she has done every night for the past month, Kara stays the night and she feels her heart ache as she listens to Lena cry.

 

///

 

It takes another couple of weeks for Lena to surface again. It’s a particularly rough night; wind tears through the trees, cold and harsh against the cabin. Lena’s in a thick cardigan, a blanket around her shoulders. She drops a blanket on the porch.

 

“I don’t get cold,” Kara says quietly with a smile.

 

“What?” Lena yells out over the gale.

 

“I said thank you,” Kara calls back, and Lena heads back inside.

 

The blanket is the itchiest blanket Kara has ever used. She knows Lena gave it to her on purpose.

 

She still wears it all night, and leaves it folded neatly on the porch in the morning.

 

///

 

Kara’s running late, not that Lena’s paying attention or anything. But it’s almost 3am and maybe she’s a little scared--

 

Kara lands in front of the porch, and Lena sighs with relief.

 

“Long night?” Lena calls out, and it almost feels normal, Kara being Supergirl and Lena being holed up here away from the outside world and the two of them spending their nights together like this.

 

“A bad one,” Kara says, her voice breaking. As she steps into the light, Lena can see her tear-stained cheeks, the slump in her shoulders, the dried blood flecked across her chest.

 

“What hap--” she decides maybe she doesn’t want the gruesome details. So she settles on, “are you okay?”

 

“I’m feeling a bit better now that I'm with you,” Kara says with a small smile. Lena ignores the way it makes her stomach feel heavy and squirmish inside her. Instead, she moves over so there’s enough room for Kara on the bench. Kara sighs as she sits, resting her  head on the wall behind her and closing her eyes.

 

“Kara?” Lena says. Kara cracks one eye open and looks at her wearily.

 

“Yeah, Lena?”

 

“I think I’m ready.”

 

“For?”

 

“I want to know why you didn’t tell me you were Supergirl.”

 

Kara sits up straight, rubbing her eyes.

 

“Now?”

 

“No time like the present,” Lena shrugs.

 

“I guess… I guess I liked that you only knew Kara Danvers. Don’t get me wrong, I love being Supergirl, but…” She pauses and sighs. “I don’t know how to phrase what I’m thinking.”

 

“Take your time. We have all night. And tomorrow night. And the night after that--”

 

“I get it,” Kara says, chuckling. “Okay. Uh, Supergirl is supposed to be this beacon of goodness and hope, and I get to do so much good being her. But I’m also constantly terrified. I’ve got so much power inside me and I know what that power can do if I let my anger take over. It’s happened before - too many times - and I’ve hurt so many people I love. And they forgave me, thank  _ god  _ they forgave me, but Supergirl started to feel less and less good. She’s done too much damage and even if nobody else sees it, I  _ feel  _ it. And you, you only saw Kara and you saw the goodness in me without my emblem on my chest and it just felt… gosh, it felt so great. It’s probably just my own insecurities, but I always feel like Alex and Eliza look at me like I’m still a pre-pubescent refugee. And whenever they’d look at me with pity or whatever it made me so hyper-aware that I’d always be this lost kid in their eyes. But when I was with you, I didn’t have the responsibility of Supergirl or the baggage of Kara Zor-El and I could just… be.”

 

“Who the hell is Kara Zor-El?” Lena asks, and Kara bursts out laughing.

 

“Zor-El is my Kryptonian last name. Actually, it’s also my father’s first name.” Kara scrunches her nose. “Now that I think about it, the Kryptonian naming system is patriarchal as hell.”

 

“I mean, Earth’s is just as bad,” Lena smiles. She hesitates before adding, “do you remember much about Krypton.”

 

“I remember my father. His office had this smell, the closest thing to it I can find on earth is mahogany. I remember I walked into one of my college professor’s offices and he had this huge desk and it made me burst into tears as soon as it hit my nose. I remember when Kal-El, Superman, was born and all the adults in my family thought I’d be jealous of him but I remember being too obsessed with him to feel anything other than love. I remember the way my mom would try to be angry with me when she was holding back laughter, this weird wobble in her voice. I, uh, I remember seeing it explode. I’d never seen anything as bright in my life, it burned my eyes and it made my pod heat up and I thought I was gonna suffocate.”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

 

Kara smiles sadly. “That’s why I like being Kara Danvers. Kara Danvers isn’t one of the last of her kind, she doesn’t think about her family dying all the time. Kara Danvers doesn’t have as many reasons to be sad. And she has you.”

 

“Kara?” 

 

“Yeah, Lena?”

 

“I’m sorry for reacting the way I did.”

 

Kara turns so she’s totally facing Lena. She puts a hand on her knee.

 

“You have nothing to apologise for. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and I’m sorry it made you feel like I didn’t trust you. I trust you more than anyone else. You’re my best friend, you’re--” she stops just for a moment. “You’re so extraordinary.”

 

“So that’s it,” Lena says. “Enough apologising. No more.”

 

Kara holds out her hand, ready for Lena to shake it.

 

“Bygones?” she jokes.

 

Lena pushes her hand aside, and leans forward. She kisses Kara slowly, softly, as though maybe she didn’t mean to do it. But Kara kisses her back, every inch of her body crying out  _ finally! _

 

All too soon, Lena pulls away, the promise of their future lying in the silence between them.

 

“Bygones,” she agrees. “Now. Will you fly me home?”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @lhknox2 and tumblr @murdershegoat and lmk what you thought!


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